IN THIS ISSUE:
1. LIFE SKILL FOR BUSINESS!
Somewhere, Over the Rainbows...
2. BUSINESS SKILL FOR LIFE!
How's YOUR I.Q. (Influence Quotient)?
3. FREE TELE-CONFERENCES!
How to Create Residual Income for Life in Three Years, or Less!
4. TV, RADIO, SEMINARS, AND LIVE EVENTS!
Speaking, radio and television appearances...
==========================
1. LIFE SKILL FOR BUSINESS
==========================
Somewhere, Over the Rainbows...
Can you remember a tough speech you had to give? I can. It happened on Saturday, June 30. It was the shortest (maybe three minutes), yet it was one of the hardest. I was truly moved for those few minutes at the Rainbows graduation celebration.
This was NO ordinary group of people. They were diverse in age (from 16 to 65), race, size, background, economic standing and religious orientation. Each had a unique life story. Huddled on the floor in front of me were another 15 - 20 children between four and 14 years old. In all, there were maybe 50 people as diverse as America itself.
What brought these people together, and what they had in common was something we don't speak about out loud in our society: loss. They all had experienced loss through separation, divorce, or death of a loved one.
Rainbows, Inc. is an organization that provides a safe haven for young people to express their grief and sadness over losing someone they love. They conduct workshops to help children and their parents express their feelings, cope with grief, and embrace forgiveness. It culminates in a celebration, a way for everyone to release hurt, guilt and anger, and to forgive themselves and other people in their lives.
Loss impacts adults as much or more than children. Some of us carry guilt, anger and hurt with us for decades, and haven't released it. Some carry it to their graves with them. What a blessing it is to express it, forgive and let go.
As one of the final steps of the workshop, they invite a man and a woman to act as parent representatives, and ask each to read out loud a letter of forgiveness. The surrogate "mother" reads a letter from the woman who founded Rainbows, asking forgiveness from her children for her and her husband's divorce.
I was asked to read a one-page letter from a father to his child.
This father asks his child's forgiveness after his doctors tell him he is dying, and has only a few weeks to live. He is shocked. He is angry it is happening to him. "It's like a bomb exploded inside me.I feel cheated."
Then, he remembers; "I am thankful we were together at all. You have been the sunshine in my life. I am the luckiest parent to have had you."
He expresses his regrets. "I wish I would have hugged you more played with you more shared more of my feelings with you." He is broken-hearted. He knows he will not live to see his child grow up.
I paused to give people a chance to release their feelings. I needed it myself. People were sobbing, tears were flowing, and hearts were opening. There wasn't a throat in the room that didn't have a lump in it. Including mine.
Then, the tone of the letter changes. Father's voice gets strong and wise as he shares fatherly advice, words of wisdom to help his child carry on in life without him. For all living things, seasons change
"Death is an important part of life. Just as a tree loses its leaves in the winter, the spring brings new leaves to the same tree. My life will change. The part of me that you loved and loved you back, the inside part, will always be safely tucked away in your heart."
He reminds his child, "I am as close as a memory." He will always be there in spirit. "I hope you will cry for me, miss me for awhile, and even sit in my favorite chair. Then, please, please, go on with your childhood. Put laughter, silly times and even some mischief back into your life. Reach out to others, make new friends. Above all, be the best YOU that you can be."
His final words express what is too often left unsaid during our lives,
"I know how much you love me, and always remember, I LOVE YOU with all my heart."
These three minutes had a big effect on the children and teens who had lost a parent, but it impacted the adults in the room even more deeply. Tears glazed everyone's eyes. In the silence of the room, you could see chests beating, and feel their hearts throbbing to let go of the pain. At the end of the reading, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. For some, they let go of a lifetime of grief. It came rushing out and nobody could stop it. Nobody wanted to stop it.
In that room that day, dozens of people released years of unexpressed feelings over the loss of a loved one they never fully grieved. It was an intrinsic experience, the truest meaning of "being" spiritual. It was a moment that will live in me forever.
They honored me by asking me to read these words to a group of courageous men, women, and children who faced their loss, expressed their grief, and were beginning to heal. I witnessed the power of expressing, forgiving, and loving. The spirit of love was in every corner of the room, and in every heart. I can never forget the wide-eyed and innocent look of 20 children staring at me from two feet away, 40 eyeballs looking up for words that would help make their pain go away. The hairs on my neck stand up just thinking about it.
Loss is an experience we all share. In our busy world, we often don't take the time we need to grieve our losses, whether personal, professional and most important of all, loved ones. We jump back into the doing-ness, going-ness and having-ness of life, and try to keep busy enough to take our mind off the pain. But pain is a part of being alive, and plays an important role in healing.
If everyone on the planet could experience just one moment of this kind of energy, of unconditional love, a transformation would occur that would alter our future. Nobody would go hungry again, and fighting over ideology and material possessions, power and prestige would cease. We would realize what matters most is LOVE.
IT IS MORE MORAL TO LOVE THAN TO SERVE OR OBEY!
After the program, I had to rush off to another commitment, my duties as manager of the West Orange 12-year old traveling baseball team. When I got to the field, the game was already underway. One of our players was criticizing himself for making an error. I put my arm around him and told him, "What matters is you tried your hardest. Sometimes you make the play, sometimes you don't. It's just a game. THIS is not life or death."
I had just been with a group of remarkable people who clearly knew the difference. If a 12-year old can see that distinction, it will be worth more than all the baseball knowledge he could ever learn.
Expressing grief over loss is a natural release for us. If we hold it in, it rots our stomach, and robs our soul. Whatever loss you've had in your life that you have not fully grieved is following you like a shadow past. It won't let you go, unless you let IT go.
Take the time you need to feel it, express it, and release it. It may be painful. There was a lot of pain released in the room that Saturday. Pain is a natural and necessary step in healing. A wound hurts most just before it closes.
On Saturday, June 30, I had the opportunity to touch and be touched by a group of courageous and loving people of all ages. Somewhere, over the Rainbows.
This Week's Life Skill for Business...
Express your grief
and feelings of loss. Offer to share yourself, and invite
others to share themselves. Hug a loved one a little tighter,
and kiss a special person a little longer. It is an intrinsically
rewarding experience that will enrich your life.
If you or someone you know
would like to support Rainbows, Email Mary Robinson, Executive Director in New Jersey
(mailto:mary@rainbowsjn.org) or call 1-908-608-0888. They deserve
our help. They need our support.
============================
2. BUSINESS SKILL FOR LIFE
============================
How's YOUR I.Q. (Influence Quotient)?
There is an Influence revival going on in the marketing world today. Nearly two decades after Dr. Robert Cialdini's ground-breaking work on Influence, a new wave of persuaders are reviving these methods to induce people to buy everything from jelly beans to jet planes. The game is not being played on a level playing field. The influence peddlers have the advantage over their prey. They know how to bypass your conscious awareness, and speak directly to the lazy and very willing subconscious.
In issue #8, we talked about the importance of knowing the odds, and more important, tilting the odds in your favor. Understanding influence, and developing it within yourself tilts the odds in your favor.
Like money and many other extrinsic things that are not intrinsically good or evil, people can use influence principles to better others, or they can use these only to enrich themselves. In a world where information is spinning out of control, there is no lack of willing takers. There exists a never-ending demand for shortcuts to help us with our ABCD's (actions, behaviors, choices and decisions).
Enter the influence peddler. He knows how to stimulate desire by appealing to our strong internal need for shortcuts. Beware the influence peddler, for he can be a smuggler, a bungler or a sleuth.
A smuggler fabricates or simulates the existence of influence principles, in order to cause people to buy what he's selling. He has one end in mind: your money. Beware the smuggler.
A bungler is one who misses an honest opportunity to use influence where it would create a better win for all parties. He "bungles" the opportunity, out of ignorance or inattention. You have to help the bungler help you.
A sleuth is a person who knows how to use the influence principles to create win-win outcomes for everyone involved. She sizes up the situation, and seizes the moment. She leverages poss-ability with the desire to create the highest and best result for everyone involved. Be a sleuth. You'll have serious influence.
Dr. Cialdini's research yielded some startling and very useful discoveries that you can use to enhance your influence. Influence principles can be used to assist others in making good choices for themselves, and creating the ultimate in win-win outcomes. They can also be used just as effectively by influence peddlers with win-lose as their game plan.
The reason we are impacted by these principles is that they appeal to both our conscious and subconscious minds. Our conscious mind is on overload. We need a way to conveniently bypass the rigorous thinking required to make the far too many decisions we have to make every day.
In a world of too many choices, we seek shortcuts. There is a down side to shortcuts. Taking them makes it easier for you to be led astray. If you learn and use the influence principles, you can avoid "being used" by them. If you are alert to these as a buyer, and apply them ethically as a seller, you will be more influential in all transactions and interactions.
I have come up with a simple way you can recall the Six Influence principles:
Real INFLUENCE is S.C.A.R.C.E.
Scarcity
Consensus
Authority
Reciprocity
Commitment
Empathy (liking and friendship)
Remember; Real influence is S.C.A.R.C.E.
We said Cialdini identified three kinds of people with influence:
SMUGGLERS, BUNGLERS, and SLEUTHS.
Going forward, we'll share real life examples of how people smuggle, bungle and sleuth using influence principles.
Keep these three kinds of people in mind as you read a short description of the six principles.
1. Scarcity
The less abundant something is the rarer and more valuable it is perceived to be. Scarcity has a very powerful impact on people. So do deadlines. If there is a real (not fabricated) limited time offer or availability of an item, event, or experience, its scarcity makes it worth more. Anything that is unique, one-of-a-kind, and irreplaceable has more value than that which is abundant. John Lennon's piano sold for millions of dollars. New, it cost him around $1,500.
One pound of carbon is more valuable than one pound of sand, but one little carat of diamond is exponentially more valuable than both the carbon and sand combined. Diamonds have scarcity, both in quantity and quality.
When scarcity is present, people act more readily and urgently. What happens in the stores when a snowstorm or hurricane warning is issued? When people think an item is scarce, hard to find or unique in some way, it's perceived value rises, and as a result, it's real value in the marketplace also increases.
When scarcity is truly present, it is good to let someone know, for they will appreciate the opportunity to act if they're ready. Often scarcity doesn't exist, but someone "smuggles" you into believing that it does.
Be a sleuth: Find out the truth about whether something is scarce. Use your natural curiosity, add a dose of "healthy" skepticism, and ask for it in writing. While you're at it, make sure that if a better deal comes along in the future, you'll get the benefit or savings even after the fact. That will usually smoke out the smugglers.
Know the scarcity factor.
2. Consensus
Cialdini found consensus, or social proof was one of the easiest and most common shortcuts we take. In my video on Adapt-ability, I explain how people display the "herd" instinct. Native Americans would gather buffalo in a herd, and get the head buffalo stampeding. Then, they would run them right off a cliff.
Social proof is a shortcut that can get us buffaloed, indeed. Many of us go right along with the crowd, almost unconsciously. Have you ever seen people running for a track change in Grand Central Station in New York, or any other major city? People who didn't even hear the announcement start running anyway.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND.
WE DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT.
WE DON'T WANT TO MISS THE TRAIN.
Social proof, the consensus among people we see as similar to us, carries a lot of weight in our thinking and decision-making. Testimonials, endorsements, positive reviews, and especially success stories are highly influential. They have a direct effect on our ABCD's (actions, behaviors, choices and decisions).
With social proof
Cred-ability + Believe-ability = Quantum Leverage-ability!
What others say about you is more persuasive and influential than what you say about yourself. Good public relations is better than advertising. It's massive social proof.
If social proof exists, refer to it. If you've got consensus, USE IT.
3. Authority
Authority is a very powerful influence principle in our culture because we are taught from a very early age to "respect" and "obey" authority. I buy the first, but the second gives me the chills. Is it good to obey an immoral law?
OK. I admit. I have a real hard time with this one. I am an unconventional thinker, and I don't like authority. It frightens me. Far too many people use authority to exert power, lord over and control others. Every system of authority has one purpose: to keep the system in place, and retain its authority. Authority taken to an extreme results in the loss of the "I" in individual. In a system, there is no individual. There is only the authority.
People put a lot of value in the principle of authority. Some people ONLY get or take advice from people they believe are authorities. Authority is projected using credentials, degrees, expertise, rank, position, fame and celebrity, all of which we value as reliable shortcuts. We believe, and we believe in, authorities. We tend to listen to authorities, and are influenced by them.
YOU ARE an authority (we're all authorities on our own lives). If you HAVE authority, you have influence. If you don't see yourself as having authority, you won't feel as influential or powerful as you can be. You are subject to influence peddlers who smuggle people claiming authority where there may be none.
As we made clear in Issue #9, YOU DON'T NEED MORAL AUTHORITY. You already have it. You just need to claim it.
Exercise YOUR authority. Let it enrich your life, and use it for good in the world.
4. Reciprocity
We're taught it's not polite to take something for nothing, or take without giving back. Who hasn't sampled a product in a supermarket and then felt the unconscious urge to buy some, just because. When given a gift, give a gift to others and it will come back to you multiplied. What comes around, goes around.
Reciprocity is culturally embedded in our psyches. It is strong enough to alter our biochemistry and physiology, and generate physical sensations in our bodies just thinking about "owing" somebody something, especially money. This is a powerful principle of influence.
I've conducted hundreds of seminars and workshops on how to attract, convert and keep more customers. I call the process, Sales Alchemy Turning Customers into GOLD. One of the cornerstones of Sales Alchemy is to add value in advance.
Add value in advance, and four positive things happen for you. YOU...
1. become a trusted advisor
(value in advance strengthens trust);
2. can use consensus (value-added social proof builds strong cred-ability);
3. demonstrate your authority and expertise (your track record
of results);
4. ignite reciprocity (people want to give value back to you).
When value-added is done ethically, it's very influential. Reciprocity puts the law of sowing and reaping on your side. Sleuths give for the sake of giving, and because they know that giving value yields value. Sleuths want to be of service, and demonstrate their ability to perform and deliver.
Smugglers give to cause the other person to feel obligated to give back. Smugglers try to manipulate the giving; they give a little to GET BACK a LOT. The smuggler will advance a small gift to fire up the strong unconscious urge to reciprocate. Then, they'll make a request to get something back all out of proportion to their original gift. This is the height of using reciprocity to smuggle people.
Don't be smuggled. When used ethically, in good faith and with the purpose of serving others, reciprocity is a powerful tool. To NOT reciprocate creates a heavy burden for some of us. WE HAVE TO GIVE BACK SOMETHING right away to balance the ledger.
When using reciprocity, the sooner the payback the easier it is for both parties. Don't bank your reciprocity chips too long. This principle is so strong, some people get resentful and angry if they can't pay back a gift. They want to have the ledgers balanced, or they feel uncomfortably indebted.
A healthy way to use reciprocity is to find out what the other person wants in return. Rather than worry, be guilty, or feel indebted, simply ask, "What would you like in return?" If the person says, "Nothing. This is a gift." accept it with a thank you. No obligation exists; nothing is expected. True gifts don't come with strings attached.
Reciprocity DOESN'T HAVE TO BE MANDATORY. IT JUST FEELS THAT WAY.
Use this very powerful influence principle can be used for great good in the world.
5. Commitment
We humans have a strong desire to remain consistent with what we say and committed to what we do. So strong is this dynamic duo that they often show up together as twin influence principles...
COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY!
Consistency is seen as a sign of good character in our society, and highly valued. It's an easy shortcut for us. A person who is consistent in the ABCD's (actions, behaviors, choices and decisions) has more influence than a person who is scattered, fragmented and unpredictable; in other words, inconsistent.
A person who keeps commitments has more influence than one who doesn't.
We feel a strong need to maintain a sense of consistency and commitment. If we over-value commitment and consistency, we may stay on a path even after we sense it's no longer where we want to go. We can stay committed to something we no longer value. We stay consistent with a position or a point of view even after it's worn out its usefulness and no longer serves us.
Be alert to how, and how much you are influenced by commitment and consistency yourself, and when interacting with others. It is a great shortcut.
Just be sure this shortcut doesn't lead you down a road that dead ends.
6. Empathy
This is the influence principle of liking and friendship. I met Clay Cotton at the Internet Marketing Super Conference last month in Las Vegas. Clay is a maestro pianist who played with Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jerry Garcia, B.B. King, Boz Scaggs, Bonnie Raitt, and many other "who's who" of the music world. Even Mick Jagger asked him to play with the Rolling Stones.
Clay understands the principle of empathy, which starts with love. It's about liking and friendship. I love what I heard him say from the platform, sharing this wisdom: "I used to be smart. Now I'm pleasant. I like pleasant better."
Empathy is being pleasant. It's about caring about another person AS a person. It's REAL liking, REAL friendship. Empathy is an intrinsic influence principle.
Smugglers often pretend to like you (or be likable), and want to be your friend, because they know it influences your ABCD's. Smugglers have an ulterior motive; they want our time, resources, contacts, knowledge, wisdom, material things, and almost always our money. They don't necessarily want to exchange something of equal or greater value. Smugglers want a win for themselves, and have no problem giving as little in return as they can.
Smugglers project the win-lose mentality prevalent in so many transactions and interactions in the world.
Pay attention. Let your intuition guide you. People you like and befriend and who value relationship, will be influential in your life. Similarly, YOU can be influential in the lives of people who like you, and who feel your empathy.
Empathy is not only an important influence principle. It's a vital life skill. Value-ability is the ability to value ourselves for who we are, separate and apart from what we do, what we have and where we go.
Clay is right on. Be pleasant. Be empathic. Be influential.
This Week's Business Skill for Life...
Real Influence
is S.C.A.R.C.E. Use
Scarcity, Consensus, Authority, Reciprocity, Commitment, and Empathy
to influence people purposefully, passionately and positively.
BE more influential.
Coming Soon: More on
Smuggler's, Bungler's and Sleuths...
Who are the REAL influential people in your life?
Stay tuned........
==========================
3. FREE TELE-CONFERENCES...
==========================
How to Create Residual Income for Life in Three Years, or Less.
Help People Get Healthier, Live Longer, and Build Residual Income for Life!
Most people do not look to a future of financial independence. Only 3% of ALL Americans ever achieve this magical state. What's worse, many people who do arrive are not healthy and vibrant enough to enjoy it.
In order to be financially independent, you need a combination of passive and residual income that can replace your active income (how you trade your time for money).
Financial independence is different for everyone. For some, an extra $500 to $1,000 each month will ease the pressure of debt and make them feel independent. Others may want $100,000, $200,000, or more of passive and/or residual income.
For every $1,000 of income per month you want ($12,000 per year), you need $200,000 (or a comparable asset) kicking off 6% NET interest.
At $5,000 per month, a $60,000 annual income requires ONE MILLION DOLLARS at 6% NET (after taxes).
One path to financial independence is to accumulate assets that kick off passive income. Another path is to complement asset accumulation with a business that generates residual income.
NOT FIVE BUSINESSES. NOT THREE BUSINESSES. ONE BUSINESS.
They say the best jockeys
are not always the best jockeys.
The best jockeys just ride the best horses.
THIS is the horse I'm riding.
What horse are you riding to build residual
income?
I invite you to ride with us.
I've looked at hundreds of business and marketing plans of companies from $1 million to $1 BILLION in sales. The company I'm using as a vehicle to build residual income for life is publicly traded with world-class products, world-renowned scientists, and a vision and mission I align with (health and healing, and wealth in all dimensions of mind, body and spirit). The marketing plan works. It does not discriminate. The compensation plan is fair and very lucrative to those who choose to leverage it.
We have a business model that is certain to work.
You will succeed if you follow our simple 3-4-5-6 Business Success Model and use our Six Degrees of Separation Marketing Model.
Ken Kerr, project leader for EPCOT Center and Disney Imagineering and I will explain the process and the exact steps you take to get there. We'll talk about how this company models the Disney success formula, and how you can use that same formula to ensure success in your business.
We'll also show you why 90% of people fail to build a consistent residual income, and how you can avoid those pitfalls and potholes. One of those pitfalls and potholes is lack of support. Support-ability is one of the most important of all Success-Abilities.
Support and training make the difference. We provide both.
IF YOU WANT TO BUILD A LIFETIME RESIDUAL INCOME OF $52,000 TO $156,000 TO COMPLEMENT YOUR ACTIVE AND PASSIVE INCOME, I INVITE YOU TO BE ON THIS CALL.
No hype, just straightforward common sense.
In the process, you WILL make a difference in the lives of everyone you serve.
Join us.
Tuesday, July 17 at 8:30pm
eastern (5:30pm pacific).
1-212-796-1700. Pin is 7357# (# sign is required).
Wednesday, July 18 at
12 NOON eastern (9am pacific).
1-865-362-4450 pin is 2326# (# sign is required).
==========================
4. TV, RADIO, LIVE EVENTS
==========================
Speaking, radio and television appearances...
After more than three years off the road, I've coming back out to do what I do best and love most: speak. I'm ready to share some fresh and timely material to get the most out of work and career, while balancing time for family and self. Better work/life/self balance is something many of us seek.
More and more people are looking to find their center of gravity, and balance life, livelihood and living. Most people I know are not content with JUST earning a living. They want to enjoy a livelihood, and live a rich life. We seek intrinsic riches that money CANNOT buy, as we pursue loftier goals, success and achievement.
The intrinsic dimension of life holds the most value for us. Living more fully in all dimensions of life is what we seek.
We are looking for groups, companies, businesses, organizations, associations and corporations that want to
* turn THEIR customers into
GOLD using a little Sales
Alchemy;
* hire and train, develop and retain the best and brightest people,
and save a fortune using the unique practice of Axelrology in your business;
* increase productivity, performance, and profit-ability; The Virtual Entrepreneur brings out the highest and best your people have
to offer;
* master the vital Success-Abilities of market-ability, sales-ability,
service-ability, leverage-ability, and profit-ability;
* create better work/life/self balance by using the Power of Three.
If you want a contrarian view, we can talk about one of my favorite topics... Success B.S.
I take you on a journey of how I got my Ph.D. (Piled high and Deep) in Success B.S. We explore the mysteries and explode some myths about success poop that fills us like a bloated bowel; it doesn't hold water. If you want a humorous and no-nonsense look at what many people think, but few actually dare say, Success B.S. is the program for you.
This one is rated very high in the stickiness factor.
We customize EVERY talk to EVERY audience, EVERY TIME.
To inquire about one of these programs for
your group live, via satellite, tele-seminar or web conferencing...
Send us an
Email or Call 1-800-7 Axelrod (800-729-3576).
Until next time...
Express YOUR unexpressed
grief over loss.
Improve YOUR I.Q. (Influence Quotient).
Join our tele-conferences.
Mitch Axelrod
Axelrod Learning
14 Seaman Road - West Orange, NJ - 07052
Voice: 973-736-1304
Fax: 973-736-3930
Contact Mitch
Axelrod
Learning Center
Back
to the NEWSLETTER Home Page. We invite you to share this link
with clients, associates, and friends who want to unlock their
potential.
Axelrod Learning is your one-stop, "INFORMATION
FILLIN' STATION."
Find something new every week at the Axelrod
Learning home page.
Download a FREE copy of Success-Abilities
21 Life Skills for the 21st Century newsletter.
Visit our home page and
join.
Sponsor our teens
value's work! Corporate sponsors invited.
Contact
us for training, coaching, speaking and consulting.
Comments?
Suggestions? Let us know what's on your mind.